Adventures of a Shivanaut

A response to Havi’s most recent post about keeping it challenging in the form of the conversation in my head that popped up when I read it.

A conversation in my head

Me: Oh yes! I’m just starting to see the patterns and everything and wow I did that whole round (i.e. from one starting position – wonder off – get back ok – 16 positions in total) without getting stuck.  Yippee!

Voice of Havi (i.e. me when I’m honest): Oh, well done.  Now you get to do something harder!

Me: But…! But I’ve not really finished this one yet, I mean it’s starting to make sense, but I’m not whizzing through it all easily yet.

Voice of Havi: Ah, yes.  But you know that if you keep doing this now it’ll just be training muscles, not the brain.

Me: I don’t know that! It *might* be.

Voice of Havi: Uh, no!  In just the few weeks you’ve been doing it you’ve seen how the results became purely physical (fluidity of movement, muscle memory of the movements, building up speed) when you got past the hurdle and started to understand the process.  Remember, it’s not a piece of choreography you’re trying to learn here.  Change it up when you start to get to that point.

Me: But…! But I want to feel good whizzing my arms around and feeling smug.

Voice of Havi: I know, and that’s ok.  You’re allowed to feel that way.  Just remember that you’re not getting the results you want when you do that.

Me: Awwwww, I don’t want to.  That’s no fun…

Voice of Havi: …

Me: Oh, ok.  So I know that it’s even more fun when I get epiphanies and stuff.  Though sometimes I need a break from new ones.  Then I can focus on the physical side of it and be all “Yey, look at me!”  For a little while.

Me: I still don’t want to though.  But I’m gonna try being ok with that.  Not feeling guilty about it.  Just noticing it.  And then I’m going to do a bit of a practice, maybe just a little bit more of the same, as a pressie to myself for being all notice-y and non-guilt-pushing.  Yay me!

Me: Say.  Was that just an epiphany?!