November 13
You know you’ve had an epiphany when…
You’ve been struggling all day
I had a bit of a ‘grey’ day today. I didn’t really feel like I was getting anywhere with anything. I am lucky enough to have a group of friends that get together to talk and help each other out on Wednesday evenings and was able to share how I was feeling. They gave me some perspective but I was still feeling low.
[I'm thinking that this might be a warning sign that some serious epiphanies are building up and about to burst! I wonder if there's a smoother way to deal with that?]
So I listened to one of Havi’s Emergency Calming Technique recordings, and was able to shift my mindset but I was still not feeling energetic or productive (my energies were being stored up for the ‘big showdown’!) So I whittled the evening away on Twitter, RSS and email.
The thought that triggered it happened just as you were about to go to bed
I was listening to a meditation at 3am and realised that I had fallen asleep twice during it, so I decided that perhaps now was a good time to go to bed. As I shut everything down and got ready to go upstairs, I set my alarm for yoga the next day when suddenly…
It came when you weren’t looking for it
I had the most tiny, innocuous thought creep into my brain. No lead up in my mental chit-chat. It just bounced in, as some ideas do, so I went to quickly jot it down before going to bed. Only this quick thought suddenly turned out to be a bit bigger – so I got a plain sheet of paper and got ready to scribble. Only it suddenly reminded me of some other stuff I had read, so I went and go that back up on the computer. Finally, I’ve joined a few dots in my head and I start to scribble some of the basics onto my sheet of paper.
Your pen can’t keep up with your brain
It doesn’t take long for the A4 sheet to get full, and there’s little arrows and circling and stars and exclamation marks. I realise I’m going to need a bigger boat piece of paper and settle into my comfy chair to scribble some more.
(Almost) all the different ideas that crop up just fit together perfectly
This flow of ideas just keeps coming, I ponder on one area for a little while, jot some thoughts and suddenly connections to lots of other areas are shouting at me: “Look! See this? Isn’t it obvious?!” A couple of trains of thought feel a little bit like wishful 4am thinking, but I’m pretty much on fire right now, so I’m able to spot those, check them out and weed them out appropriately. Or at least, I hope so – I may feel completely differently once I’ve actually slept which is why I’m writing this now. I can’t back out and pretend it didn’t happen tomorrow if I’ve told you all about it!
You’re still going at 6.30am
So it’s hit 6.30 am, and I can hear an alarm clock going off (not mine) and I’m starting to think that astanga yoga in 4 hours may be pushing it. The idea seems to have finally worked it’s way out (complete with a points scoring system, a flow chart diagram, ordered categories and a set of next steps) and everything feels like it’s starting to slow down from warp speed.
You happen to have clicked with that bit you were struggling with that morning
Oh yeah, did I mention…I managed to work through the Level 3 arms this morning without having to sound them out (more to follow on this after I’ve slept!). It just started to make sense today…
Oh, man. That’s a Dance of Shiva moment for sure.
I’ve had those nights. The whole Fluent Self system came to me like that.
The only “advice” I have for *not* having long, crazed sleepless nights is to ground your practice with a lot of safety nets.
Take good care of your body. Practice only in the mornings (treat it like very strong caffeine). Give yourself more sleep than you’re used to. Eat well. Meditate. Journal right after your practice. Do a ton of grounding work. Make sure you have lots of support in your life.
Stuff like that.
But don’t worry, now that you’re processing this deep information …
… and starting to SEE HOW EVERYTHING IS CONNECTED TO EVERYTHING ELSE (excuse me for shouting, I just get so excited about how Shiva Nata trains the brain to think systematically), you will also get the right information about what you need next to care for yourself and nourish yourself.
Yay epiphanies! Rock. On.
Havi Brooks (and duck)’s last blog post..Finding the challenge (part 1.5)
@Havi Brooks (and duck): Yikes! Much as I am planning Winter 08 to include much grounding & Spring 09 to feature sleep, diet and daily physical practice, there’s a lot of lifestyle change in there! I think I may start with sitting and journalling straight away, since I tend not to do that as nothing is *apparent*. That way it might help things to flow, rather than store up and then vent (images of volcanoes are very appropriate for me here).
This is my second crazy night, and both have a couple of odd things in common:
1) They both came on days when I practised in the morning (the first one I also practised in the evening, but not yesterday’s)
2) They both happened on the night before the night of the full moon. Not the first time the moon has seemed to affect me, then there’s my whole thing with wolves
3) Both came on days when I’d had a bit of a funk during the day
4) Both came just as I decided to stop for the day
Two things that totally resonate for me:
1) “Shiva Nata trains the brain to think systematically.” Last night was a bit like my own little fluent self download.
2) “You will get the right information about what you need next to care for yourself and nourish yourself.” I think my little system might help others; right now it’s a big bright arrow pointing at what I need.
So, it’s not just me?! My details are a little different, but the same things are happening. And let’s just say I’m no where near LEVEL 3 ARMS. Are you crazy man? No you’re rad. Clearly.
But back to the epiphanies. I struggle more against the being awake at 3am, than you see to. Although I am so grateful for the stuff that’s coming through. (Seeing the patterns and the connections and the patterns and how it’s all connected and and and…)
Thanks for writing this, because I was going to email Havi and ask her, but now I get to know what she’d say, without her having to say it twice. Oh, and when I asked myself, it seems spending more time in a meditative state during my “waking” hours will help with the sleeping during the sleeping hours.
Keep dancing James. It’s great for all of us.
Shannon Wilkinson’s last blog post..Getting Out There
@Shannon Wilkinson: There are so many reasons why I love you for writing this comment! Every time someone says ‘me too’ I have a little party in my heart.
And I hope no-one gets down on themselves because I’m on Level 3 arms or anything like that (though, heck, how much of an ego do I have that I think other people will be bothered by what I’m doing?) I’ve had a LOT of practice at waving my arms around for other stuff, and doing things in mirror opposites and stuff. Very handy training for Shiva Nata I must say!
James, just so you know, the fact that you’re doing level 3 arms does totally the opposite of me getting down on myself. First, I celebrate your awesomeness, then there are lots of WOW thoughts that go through my head.
They range from, how awesome, James found something that’s working just right for him to I love having someone who’s just a few steps ahead of me to learn from to I’m already having kick-ass epiphanies in a week of practice (so it is about the challenge not the level) to it’s not just Havi and Andrey, other people rock this too!
That all being said, there was a time not too long ago (when did I start this practice?!) that I probably would have felt a little more competitive and comparing of myself to others. So I appreciate that you gave your disclaimer for your seemingly natural Shiva Nata aptitude. Shinaptitude if you will.
At any rate, time for for nightly ice cream. And, YAY for all of us!
Shannon Wilkinson’s last blog post..Getting Out There
Wow and double wow. Congratulations on a huge mind-blowing epiphany. I’ve had the smaller, “ding!” -type ones during the five months I’ve been doing Shiva Nata (or “the space dance”, as my darling boyfriend refers to it), but I’m still waiting for that mind-blowing one. Maybe I’ve not gathered enough epiphany buildup yet?
I’m sort of doing level 3 hands too, if you count “2-2, 2-2, wait, what… oh, yeah, 3-1, 1-3″ with every single loop ‘doing’ it. Totally working for me, totally something I’ve been able to commit to (me!!).
Eager to hear more about the outcome of this grand thing…
[...] No way! But after my night of crazy brain dumping I have ended up with a structure that I can understand to help me see that I’m off-balance [...]
@Shannon Wilkinson: How awesome are you Shannon?! That’s such a great view it even makes me feel good.
@Sari Oinonen: Hey Sari! I am always super happy to meet another Shivanaut. If what Havi has said about the process is anything to go by I’d suggest mixing it up a bit and making it harder for yourself if you want to up the rewards – take care though the results can be pretty powerful!
My favourite idea is to do Level 1 or 2 arms and/or legs with the following tweaks: try colours instead of numbers, go super-super-really-stupidly fast (makes your arms ache!) or start on the right instead of the left. The more it goes wrong when you start, the bigger the payoff when it clicks I reckon!