Adventures of a Shivanaut

It’s been quiet for a while

I haven’t had much to write about the last couple of weeks because I’ve had an extended break from Shiva Nata for a fortnight [Edit: actually, it's more like 3 weeks!].  It wasn’t just Dance of Shiva I was stopping either, it was a number of activities, because I’ve been feeling low on energy and tired and, frankly, Shiva Nata is very tiring as a regular practice!

Resting up

I will admit to totally underestimating how much work it would be.  It’s not the physical effort, since that takes just a few hours physical rest to recover, nor the mental effort of working it all out, since that too requires just a short rest in order for me to feel alert and ready again.  It seems that the brain building work involved however was having an intense effect.

Now my slump co-incides with Winter really kicking in here as well, so I’m not about to attribute it all to Shiva Nata, but I have found that it was one of the first things to go as it is so energy intensive to practice.

Building up slowly

Today was the first day that I felt like doing some again after having decided last Thursday to give myself permission to really cut back and recover from this funk I’ve been in for a few weeks.  This time, I’m planning to go a little slower, just to see if I can be aware of the impact it has on my energy levels.

What are your experiences?

I’m wondering if this feeling of energy drain is something that others have experienced with Shiva Nata, and whether this means that others have reduced their practice or stopped altogether.  What do you think?

I realised today, now that I’m doing a slightly longer practice (warm up with fun run throughs of level 1 and/or 2 then challenge myself with level 3), that one of my biggest challenges is keeping focussed for the whole length of time.  If I start to let my mind wonder then I start going horribly, horribly wrong!

I said before that never finished that post about how my mind wandering was one sign that I’m not challenging myself enough (and I will admit that I kept it at the same difficulty level so as to give myself the boon of getting all the way through the sequence) but it made me realise that when it’s not too easy I’m being singly focussed on my practice to the exclusion of all else.

Shiva Nata has helped me practice mindfullness!  I totally wasn’t expecting that one (though now I think about it I’m pretty sure Havi’s mentioned something like that before) but still, it wasn’t what I was aiming for (I got into this for the epiphanies, man) but it’s excellent when you’re doing a practice for a certain reason and you start to see other related and equally desirable benefits pop-up and go, here you are, a free bonus for you!

[Insert joke about how it's really me starting to crack.] [Insert second joke about how I've cracked already.]

Right, now that’s got that nonsense out of the way, I come fresh from my kitchen to tell you that today I managed to get all the way through Level 3 arms with simple legs!  Woohoo!  I realise that this is going to mean that I have to shake things up again in the future for it to keep working, but there’s the more complex legs to add (including “rotations in three-dimensional space” or turning as it’s also known) so I’ve still got something to learn.  And besides, just because it’s supposed to be difficult, and I don’t want to let myself get complacent, that doesn’t mean I don’t get to celebrate my achievements.  So I say again, “Woohoo!”

I admit to a small part of me wandering what will happen when I’ve learnt all the stuff on the DVD, but hey – that’ll be a nice problem to have and I’ll just cross that bridge when I come to it

EDIT: Further success…my blog is worthy of spam comments (thank you akismet for keeping them hidden)!  Oh yeah!

You’ve been struggling all day

I had a bit of a ‘grey’ day today.  I didn’t really feel like I was getting anywhere with anything.  I am lucky enough to have a group of friends that get together to talk and help each other out on Wednesday evenings and was able to share how I was feeling.  They gave me some perspective but I was still feeling low.

[I'm thinking that this might be a warning sign that some serious epiphanies are building up and about to burst!  I wonder if there's a smoother way to deal with that?]

So I listened to one of Havi’s Emergency Calming Technique recordings, and was able to shift my mindset but I was still not feeling energetic or productive (my energies were being stored up for the ‘big showdown’!)  So I whittled the evening away on Twitter, RSS and email.

The thought that triggered it happened just as you were about to go to bed

I was listening to a meditation at 3am and realised that I had fallen asleep twice during it, so I decided that perhaps now was a good time to go to bed.  As I shut everything down and got ready to go upstairs, I set my alarm for yoga the next day when suddenly…

It came when you weren’t looking for it

I had the most tiny, innocuous thought creep into my brain.  No lead up in my mental chit-chat.  It just bounced in, as some ideas do, so I went to quickly jot it down before going to bed.  Only this quick thought suddenly turned out to be a bit bigger – so I got a plain sheet of paper and got ready to scribble.  Only it suddenly reminded me of some other stuff I had read, so I went and go that back up on the computer.  Finally, I’ve joined a few dots in my head and I start to scribble some of the basics onto my sheet of paper.

Your pen can’t keep up with your brain

It doesn’t take long for the A4 sheet to get full, and there’s little arrows and circling and stars and exclamation marks.  I realise I’m going to need a bigger boat piece of paper and settle into my comfy chair to scribble some more.

(Almost) all the different ideas that crop up just fit together perfectly

This flow of ideas just keeps coming, I ponder on one area for a little while, jot some thoughts and suddenly connections to lots of other areas are shouting at me: “Look!  See this?  Isn’t it obvious?!”  A couple of trains of thought feel a little bit like wishful 4am thinking, but I’m pretty much on fire right now, so I’m able to spot those, check them out and weed them out appropriately.  Or at least, I hope so – I may feel completely differently once I’ve actually slept which is why I’m writing this now.  I can’t back out and pretend it didn’t happen tomorrow if I’ve told you all about it!

You’re still going at 6.30am

So it’s hit 6.30 am, and I can hear an alarm clock going off (not mine) and I’m starting to think that astanga yoga in 4 hours may be pushing it.  The idea seems to have finally worked it’s way out (complete with a points scoring system, a flow chart diagram, ordered categories and a set of next steps) and everything feels like it’s starting to slow down from warp speed.

You happen to have clicked with that bit you were struggling with that morning

Oh yeah, did I mention…I managed to work through the Level 3 arms this morning without having to sound them out (more to follow on this after I’ve slept!).  It just started to make sense today…

This time I speak!

I thought I’d do another, slightly longer (5 minutes) video since I enjoyed doing the last one so much and you guys seemed to like it!

This one is of me doing the level 1 horizontal arms, but with a twist!  Totally unedited, so you get to watch me struggle and gurn and even jump when I get interrupted (Warning: British guy swearing at 2:55)!

Feel free to laugh and/or comment.  Thanks.