Adventures of a Shivanaut

Shivanaut TV is here!

To start with we’re running cheap knock off versions of professional productions.  Though I’m calling it a homage to Havi’s video avoid complicated copyrighting issues!

So without further ado, I give you my demonstration of some of the Level 2 arms…

I said I would post a vid, so here it is.  No editing except for fades in and out (the music is just what was playing on my laptop at 4am when I recorded this!)

Note my very serious face – I’m thinking!

And yes, I realised after that I had forgotten to do it starting with the right side for the video.  And yes, I’m wearing orange in front of an orange wall (I like orange, ok) it’s not the image going crazy.  And yes, the lighting and quality sucks.

Well, I thought I’d save you the trouble of pointing out its many flaws

A response to Havi’s most recent post about keeping it challenging in the form of the conversation in my head that popped up when I read it.

A conversation in my head

Me: Oh yes! I’m just starting to see the patterns and everything and wow I did that whole round (i.e. from one starting position – wonder off – get back ok – 16 positions in total) without getting stuck.  Yippee!

Voice of Havi (i.e. me when I’m honest): Oh, well done.  Now you get to do something harder!

Me: But…! But I’ve not really finished this one yet, I mean it’s starting to make sense, but I’m not whizzing through it all easily yet.

Voice of Havi: Ah, yes.  But you know that if you keep doing this now it’ll just be training muscles, not the brain.

Me: I don’t know that! It *might* be.

Voice of Havi: Uh, no!  In just the few weeks you’ve been doing it you’ve seen how the results became purely physical (fluidity of movement, muscle memory of the movements, building up speed) when you got past the hurdle and started to understand the process.  Remember, it’s not a piece of choreography you’re trying to learn here.  Change it up when you start to get to that point.

Me: But…! But I want to feel good whizzing my arms around and feeling smug.

Voice of Havi: I know, and that’s ok.  You’re allowed to feel that way.  Just remember that you’re not getting the results you want when you do that.

Me: Awwwww, I don’t want to.  That’s no fun…

Voice of Havi: …

Me: Oh, ok.  So I know that it’s even more fun when I get epiphanies and stuff.  Though sometimes I need a break from new ones.  Then I can focus on the physical side of it and be all “Yey, look at me!”  For a little while.

Me: I still don’t want to though.  But I’m gonna try being ok with that.  Not feeling guilty about it.  Just noticing it.  And then I’m going to do a bit of a practice, maybe just a little bit more of the same, as a pressie to myself for being all notice-y and non-guilt-pushing.  Yay me!

Me: Say.  Was that just an epiphany?!

Past the dip on Level 3

Having made it through Level 3 arms I’m now working on being able to do it with greater speed and fluidity (rather than with lots of pausing and umming!)

However, the golden rule of Shiva Nata is “it has to be difficult to work”.  So rather than simply work on getting from a 4 out of 10 to an 8 out of 10, I figured that maybe I should try something completely different with a lower level to challenge myself in a completely new way!

Reminding myself it’s a practice

This is a totally new way of doing things for me.  I normally like to obsess until I master something and then celebrate by showing off to my friends and feeling good about myself.  And to be honest I’ll probably do both of these anyway (heck, I did promise a video at some point – I just need to get over the whole perfectionism thing with it – all encouragement welcome!)

Anyway, the idea here is for me to work on always aiming for a goal, by constantly reminding myself that it’s a practice, with infinite variations, that I will never finish but will keep doing anyway.  This ties in big with my current personal development theme.

Masochism FTW!

So, to make things harder for myself (so as to stimulate deconstruction and reconstruction) I decided to try the idea of replacing the numbers with colours and saying them out loud!  I chose Red, Yellow, Green and Blue because they’re separate, bold colours in my mind – making it easier to ‘see’ the patterns with my mind’s eye.

It was totally worth it too.  I could see new patterns emerging from Level 2 that I hadn’t noticed, or at least taken notice of, before.  And there was no way I was doing it with the legs either – so I have another thing to try next time!

I’ve had a lot of practice at masochism…

I’m a dancer – I have various horror stories about pushing through pain barriers and exhaustion in order to perform & rehearse.  It seems that being able to happily take risks and make things harder (in a controlled manner) on a physical plane can translate to doing the same on a mental level.

Of course, no-one is always willing to do it, everyone has times that they want to just lie down and relax – but given that it’s generally considered a good idea to play on your strengths to support your weaknesses (oh my gosh – I’m doing yoga talk! Havi, what have you done to me?!) I figured that I would let my years of dance lessons help support my brain training now!

Going backwards?

I actually did the Level 3 arms as well (or at least as far as I could get with them today) because I don’t want to feel like I’ve ‘slipped back’ into Level 2.  See above about still working on my need to master vs being in the practice.  I don’t see this is a problem, it just meant that I took longer with it all, but at the moment I’m lucky to have time on my side (and know it – when I’m not freaking out).

What do you think?  Is doing a different version of Level 2 a step backwards?  Should I just be pushing myself harder with Level 3 to make it difficult?

My sticky patch

I kept getting stuck, and I mean like completely and totally, my brain has frozen, why am I stood here with my arms both in horizontal 1 stuck.  I was trying to work through the Level 3 arms – without the DVD, because that just annoys me by going either too slow or too fast depending on whether I’m in the flow or having to work out each step in turn.

My practice habits

I have a habit about how I practice! Yes, it’s a brand new habit, developed whilst I was practicing Shiva Nata – can you believe it!

I don’t say the numbers out loud, they tend to distract me because my arms can work out what they’re doing at Level 1 and 2 without my mouth getting involved.  It’s actually easier for me to do the arms (with or without legs) without saying anything for these.  But at Level 3 this habit failed me!

Trying something new

So, without realising about the habit thing at first, I started talking myself through it (that being another habit of mine – I think best out loud).  One-one, two-two, two-two, three-one, one-three, two-four, four-two, one-one, three-three, ….  Suddenly, the little mini-patterns appear in what I’m saying (even though my arms are convinced that the whole thing is just one great big long random jumble).  Sometimes I say one thing but my arms do another and I’m able to see where I’ve gone wrong because my arms don’t feel like two-four but my mouth knows that two-four is next.  Quick check and ah-yes, I’ve made a mistake, but I’ve spotted it!  I’m aware, I’m conscious of it – this is most excellent, because now I can choose what to do next instead.  (Oh the symmetry!)

The idea for when you’re in a sticky patch

If you find yourself getting stuck and not getting past where you are try changing around whether you do one or both of the moving and the talking.  So if you tend to do one of the following, try another:

• Just do the arms in silence (or with music)
• Talk your way through the sequence moving your arms at the same time
• Just talk through the sequence without moving

What have you tried when you’ve got stuck, and did it help?  Are you stuck now – can you give this a try and let us know how it went for you?

Boo-yah! I finally got all the way through the Level 3 arms without going horribly, inextricably wrong and having to start all over again.

I’m starting to see the path that Havi describes where you go from:

1. I’ve no idea what the heck is happening here; to
2. Oh, that seems kind familiar, I can kinda see some little structures here and there; to
3. Ahh, I think I’ve maybe got it – it’s either this, or this, or this, but yeah I can see patterns; to
4. Ah-ha!  I’ve got it.  La la la la la, this is so easy! (Well, ok, maybe not easy, but…hey, stop raining on my parade!)

I’m now on step 2.  Of Level 3.  Arms only.  *sigh*

Still, it’s about being in the process, so it’s ok that I want to get through it faster, so long as I keep going even though I’m going slo-o-o-o-o-o-owly!  (And yes, I’m aware that others may think I’m racing through, but to me it feels slow – cause that’s my stuff and I’m working through it!)

There is one thought at the back of mind, it’s a hope.  It’s hoping that before I get to Level 7 and feel like I have got to grips with that, I will have worked through my desire to ‘master’ the Dance of Shiva.  That I will have dissolved that pattern and be able to therefore continue my learning with the dance without getting despondent about not reaching the mythical Level 8.  Cause right now, you just know what I’m aiming for, right?