Adventures of a Shivanaut

A 27 day trial (starting on the new moon as well!)

On 11 January I started a 27 day trial at mixing up Level 3 to see if I really had ‘mastered’ it or whether I was conning myself into thinking that so I could have a pity party and generally feel superior and sorry for myself all at once (oh yes, that’s an achievement in itself, right?!)

Well, 12 January I stopped.  It turns out what I needed was some time off from all that, after my last trial which I did on my other blog.  The holiday is over now (in a looking-forward-to-what-comes-next way, since I get to decide it’s over, rather than in a oh-my-god-now-I-have-to-return-to-work way) and after a forum discussion around Shiva Nata and thanks to my tendency to want to finish something that I’ve started (not always a bonus, but if I approach it consciously it can be a good way to self-motivate) I’ve decided to get it going again today.

So, without further ado, here is Day 2 of my 27 day trial (with no promise that the other 25 days will continue consecutively from this one, but that’s the intention).

Today’s session was 10 minutes of my first alternate to Level 3 starting with the right side first.

Did I get stuck?

Nope, not really.  I started off a lot slower than I finished, but I didn’t really have any complete blank moments where I just couldn’t work out where I was or where I was going.  I did end up in the wrong position after one set of 4 repetitions, but a second attempt corrected that, and I did have one point where I wasn’t completely sure of where I was in the routine, but letting my body go with what felt right sorted that out for me (a dancer’s trick when you realise half-way through a routine that you haven’t a clue what you’re doing, but your body seems to be getting on with it anyway – just don’t panic and you’re fine!)

Intention

As usual, I didn’t have one, I just go through the practice with the mild intention that the patterns do their thing and that I start to notice more of what’s going on in my head.  During the relaxation afterwards (a full 20 mintues, no skimping here) I did give myself the intention of trying to figure out where some anger I’d had recently was coming from, and my mind wandered through a few different scenarios in my head (some completely unrelated to this) whilst I was lying there (the best bit of the whole process, IMHO).  I didn’t reprimand myself for that, I just brought my awareness to what was happening rather than letting myself mindlessly daydream.  I’ve decided that seeing what comes up in these wanderings is useful, so it’s not about stopping them but rather paying attention to them.  That way if something presents which is turning into a downward, negative spiral, I can step in and stop that, but if it’s telling me something useful I can see what comes up.  If it’s just silly or distracting I can bring my awareness back to my body, breathing and feelings and restart the process.

Thoughts on the whole thing so far

Well, I don’t suppose tomorrow’s (variation 2 starting on the right) is going to be particularly stickyfying either, but then I’ve spent 20+ years practicing being able to take any movement and repeat it mirror-reflection style in dance classes, so that practice is pretty much embedded in my head already.  Does this mean that Shiva Nata won’t hold as much possibility for growth for me as someone else (as Duff alluded to in a comment on a previous post)?  I don’t know, but given that this is a practice, rather than an achievement, that I actually find accessible, at this point it doesn’t matter.  It may prove to be my perfect thing, it may prove to just be a doorway to another, more challenging, practice that takes me deeper, but the only place I can act is in the here and now, and right now there’s no difference between either of these scenarios, so I might as well just let whatever is going to happen happen, and keep practicing so as I can see how it will all turn out!