January 7
Spinning my wheels
It’s been a while since I posted, but my practice has hit a bit of a rut.
I’ve been doing level 1, 2, 3 & 4 (ish-maybe) with legs raised but not really getting that <erk> moment that is the so-called Epiphany Generator!
So what am I doing wrong?
I’m not sure at the moment. I’ve a couple of inklings, around focus/intention, or about trying other ideas to make things harder (I’ve tried Level 1 with colours, but not the higher ones) so I’m going to look through the notes I got from Havi’s Starter Kit again and see if anything there sparks up some ideas.
I still don’t feel like I’ve shaken the intention to ‘learn’ Shiva Nata, which is the nice way of saying ‘master’ it. Which since it makes Havi laugh so hard she starts coughing, I know isn’t going to work.
Still, I can do the moves, but it’s feeling a bit hollow – not got the substance in there (plus, yuck, I don’t want to suddenly find myself going back to Level 1 because I did it all wrong!)
Well, whatever happens, I’ll try and write about it a bit more – if nothing else it will help me to remain a bit more mindful with my practice.
Hugs to all my fellow Shivanauts,
James
I love that you are posting about spinning your wheels. Havi talks about plateaus and rhythms, and it seems to me that you’re following your own body’s (and heart’s) wisdom.
I just started this whole Dance thing (well, I started once about two weeks ago and then I got sick and depressed and stopped, but I’m starting a regular morning practice now). I’m still flailing around with Level 1 arms (I was sorta feeling good about the H arms, so then I had to go and get completely lost with the verticals). Of course, I’m doing it horribly wrong. So I’m so grateful that you’re sharing your adventures (even though you’re waaaaaaay ahead of me on the path, you’re a fellow traveler!). *Hugs*
Wendy Cholbi’s last blog post..It’s not about technology, it’s about connection (Heart-Centered Technology Tip #19)
@Wendy – ahead of you? If you’re doing it horribly wrong then you’re doing it better than me!
I’m so with you on this James. All of it. I am able to do most of the levels on the DVD without much wrongness.
So, like you, I re-read Havi’s starter kit to try and make it more challenging.
I’ve found that starting with the right (opposite of Andrey) helps to make it hard… but I don’t think it’s enough.
I’ve been spinning my wheels for over a month now and really really want those elusive epiphanies. Obviously, there is some anxiety attached to this desire and a lot of shoulds and just general stucknesses! AAAAHHH.
If you come up with anything, do share and I will do the same.
Good luck.
@Lynn – oh, thank you for saying that. I was having all this guilt around having been able to do the levels already, and feeling like people would think I was a show-off again (think yucky throw backs to being the smart one at school) – lots of weight just slumped off my shoulders.
I haven’t got to reading the notes yet, so I’ll let you know what happens when I’ve done that.
Every read George Leonard’s Mastery? Great book. My favorite quote is “love the plateaus.” Your nervous system grows in it’s own time, not yours.
The other thing I’ve found is that any given domain has limited potential for releasing blocked energy. As you are already a dancer (and was my background too before DoS), there is only so much juice you can squeeze from dance before it’s just easy and natural. There are other subtleties endlessly that one can learn and master, but only so much psychophysical energy can be released that was stuck.
From a Buddhist perspective, one can get really attached to the highs of practice (I certainly have, in multiple practices). The goal should be acceptance, not highs. Highs are not up to you.
Duff’s last blog post..duffmcduffee: Dean Radin is amazing. Here’s an abstract of a study of distant attention on water crystal formation from his blog: http://bit.ly/GnRU
@Duff – Given my initial reaction of joy that there was a practice that played to my strengths (dance + maths) I have to admit that I can see some wisdom in what you say about the limited potential. Still, I have such a strong reaction to doing DoS that I think there’s still more for me here.
It seems to be less about the plateau however, and more about needing to slow up the pace. Whenever I go into full throttle I find I’m overloading my system. My body-brain can keep up, but my emotional processing needs more time!
Not sure I’d call Shiva Nata a high though, it’s a toughy, there’s not so much euphoria as lightbulb moments (which aren’t always happy moments, but are usually good to know). Hmmm, a comment is not sufficient for all of this – more thinking needed.